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Dec 18

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We have missed our dedicated readers and we are so excited to connect again. We are back to complement and enrich your information and learning interests.

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Toyin Wura Oke

Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Parenting - Words of Affirmation Vs Words of Discouragement By Ibrahim Olatunji Balogun

"Why are you crying like a baby?" 
" Why is he behaving like a baby?"

These questions were questions I heard during a session in a class. Mind you, I was in a 2 year old class.

According to dictionary.com, a baby is defined as an infant or a very young child.

As adults, we are responsible for the fostering of any child in our care. We are also responsible for the motivation of the children we come across; in our community, school. Rather than naming Tom, Jack or Okon a baby, understand the needs of the child. 
Encourage them if they are yet to meet a certain target, and most importantly, use words of affirmation like "you are such a big boy" or " Big girls don't cry".

Words of affirmative are positive words, which when spoken to an individual, motivates encourages, stirs up repentance, thereby change.  
The truth is, parents are short on this fact.

Hitting, whacking, slapping and pushing are negative and irrational ways to approach or resolve conflict when dealing with a child.

"spare the rod and spoil the child" 

We are all conversant with the saying above. As a matter of fact, parents and teachers use this statement a lot to back up smacking and beating a child. 
However, this technique/manner/approach is only a temporary solution. 
We want permanent solutions right? 
Okay, let's see some tips which have worked for me over the years as a Year 6 Class Teacher.

1. "Knowledge is Power" - The Street Hawker.
Reading and accumulating knowledge is not illegal yet, so why are you not doing it? 
Which books do you read about raising and understanding kids? Psychology books. 
Where do you get them? Download or read them from the internet or visit a book store.
My all time favorite book is (Why You Act the Way You Do, by Tim Lahaya).

2. The Carrot and Stick method.
The carrot and stick method should be taken literally. 
The carrot for motivation, the stick for gentle correction. 
Let me explain a little further before it is misinterpreted as the Stick and Carrot method. 
When your child requires correction, be firm, yet loving. 
Be direct but calm. 
Never correct your child when you are angry. Do it afterwards. The carrot means, after correcting and explaining to your child what they have done wrong, give them a treat. This will serve as a form of encouragement.

3. Understand your child
Understanding your child develops with having a personal relationship with your child. 
Know what he/she wants, like and understands. 
Parents usually assume they know what their children wants, therefore misinterpreting certain signs and traits. 
Take the weekend off to spend time with your child. Go bicycle riding, swimming, play a video game, do anything to bond with your child; make the effort to understand him/her.

These tips are not casted on stone. You can read up on tips on dealing with your child. Don't forget to include the age group because children at certain age display individual character traits.


It's me, Scribble.
Ahoy.

- Ibrahim Olatunde Balogun and a teacher with a twist.
'The just ONE teacher'

Yes, You Can Make a Dessert

Managing Stress in Troubled Times - The Sound of Silence - Executive Stress Clinic - Dr. Yomi Garnett